[form] Name[text,r_name,30] Email [text,r_email,30] =============================================== Reframe Strategy Suggestions CONSUMER PAST or FUTURE STRATEGIES 5. APPROPRIATE RESPONSIBILITY ASSIGNING: ASK What exactly is the Appropriate assigning of Responsibility for feelings I am expecting to be offered by the supplier? [textarea,blame is,2,70] ASK: "Why is this IMPORTANT to me?" (What truths, principles, beliefs or values are support your expectation with this?) [textarea,important because,2,70] ASK: "HOW URGENT is it to me?" (HOW SOON must I Have Satisfaction?) [textarea,urgent because,2,70] NOW as the upset Consumer, CHANGE ROLES and be the Supplier and ASK "What can I say YES to supplying self, other, in terms of assigning the appropriate responsibility I want to assign to self and/or others?" [text,say yes to supplying,80] "What can I say NO to supplying in terms of resisting the inappropriate assignment of responsibility to self or others?" [text,say no to supplying,80] NOW ASK Which other of the Seven Expectations on my chart help or hinder me assigning and accepting the appropriate responsibility I can live with? [textarea,other influences,2,70] ============================================== Here are some suggestions to use. Please work through each one, and discuss what parts of them will work and what will not with an explanation as to why. THEN at the end write up your personal plan to help make your quadrant a parallel one which shows your expectation is going to be met. Suggestions: * Tell the other person how you feel in a very clear and strong voice. [textarea,suggestion01,3,70] * Do not allow the other person to manipulate, dictate, provoke, or pressure you into anything that you don't want to do! [textarea,suggestion02,3,70] * Supply yourself with the knowledge that you can take control and regain the power over your own actions and response -- anytime you want to! [textarea,suggestion03,3,70] * Depending upon the circumstances, you can give what is needed to yourself, to the other person, or to both. You already have the resource within yourself. You just need a reminder once in a while. [textarea,suggestion04,3,70] * Don't blame the other person for how you feel, and expect him or her to make amends. You will be powerless and remain upset. [textarea,suggestion05,3,70] * Take responsibility for your feelings, then you won't blame the other person. In other words, "own" your feelings and deal with them -- a process that does not have to involve the other person. Although it seemed that someone else made you upset, the truth is you chose to respond the way you did. What you wanted to do or say, you did! [textarea,suggestion06,3,70] * Don't fool yourself when you say, "You made me do or say it." Recognise that you will always be upset if you let yourself believe that others control your feelings. That's giving your power away! It's the consequences that you don't like. Don't now blame it on the other person. [textarea,suggestion07,3,70] Having discussed each strategy, In general what will you now plan to do? [textarea,My plan is,3,70] ===================================================== IF you are STUCK try the Catch 22 suggestions by clicking here ================================================== Please share with me anything else you feel I need to know to understand you and your experience of Depression? [textarea,comments,3,70,Write in here...] [checkbox,send copy] SEND ME A COPY PLEASE [submit,SEND this Entry][reset,Start Over again] [/form]