[form] Name[text,r_name,30] Email [text,r_email,30] =============================================== Reframe Strategy Suggestions CONSUMER PAST or FUTURE STRATEGIES 2. CHANGES TO AGREEMENTS: ASK What exactly is the AGREEMENT I am expecting from the supplier? [textarea,AGREEMENT is,2,70] ASK: "Why is this IMPORTANT to me?" (What truths, principles, beliefs or values are support your expectation with this?) [textarea,important because,2,70] ASK: "HOW URGENT is it to me?" (HOW SOON must I Have Satisfaction?) [textarea,urgent because,2,70] NOW as the upset Consumer, CHANGE ROLES and be the Supplier and ASK "What can I say YES to supplying self, other, or situation to get the AGREEMENT I want?" [text,say yes to supplying,80] "What can I say NO to supplying self, other(s) person or situation to get the AGREEMENT I want?" [text,say no to supplying,80] NOW ASK Which other of the Seven Expectations on my chart help or hinder me getting the AGREEMENT I can live with? [textarea,other influences,2,70] ============================================== Here are some suggestions to use. Please work through each one, and discuss what parts of them will work and what will not with an explanation as to why. THEN at the end write up your personal plan to help make your quadrant a parallel one which shows your expectation is going to be met. Suggestions: * Supply forgiveness, when the other person breaks an agreement. As long as you remain in the Consumer role -- wanting the other person to "repent" -- you will remain upset. The other person can do nothing to get rid of your upset. It has already happened! It is in the past. The other person cannot repair the break. [textarea,suggestion01,3,70] * Take responsibility to repair the relationship -- if you want to. It always rests with the person who is upset, not the person who broke the agreement! It is your upset; you created it so you have to let go of it. The other person can't do it for you. You have to forgive him or her. To forgive is to give yourself permission to stop being upset with the other person. You can say it face-to-face, write a letter, or say it to yourself. [textarea,suggestion02,3,70] * Consider changing or getting out of a relationship with someone who consistently breaks agreements. Be wary of another promise to atone for a broken promise -- "I'll never do it again." You can bet that the other person will do it again! [textarea,suggestion03,3,70] * If you are asked or pressured to give something -- your time, money, or your support -- that you did not agree to, supply the other person with the facts of the situation and the terms of the arrangement. State exactly what you are going to supply, or not supply. [textarea,suggestion04,3,70] * Express your feelings, do not vent them. It will only antagonise the other person and make it more difficult to focus on the facts and the issues involved if you attack. [textarea,suggestion05,3,70] Having discussed each strategy, In general what will you now plan to do? [textarea,My plan is,3,70] ===================================================== IF you are STUCK try the Catch 22 suggestions by clicking here ================================================== Please share with me anything else you feel I need to know to understand you and your experience of Depression? [textarea,comments,3,70,Write in here...] [checkbox,send copy] SEND ME A COPY PLEASE [submit,SEND this Entry][reset,Start Over again] [/form]