[form] Your Name please: [text,r_name,30] Email: [text,r_email,30] BASIC REFRAME lesson 9 RESPONSE - Planning for your response REVIEW IF Your CHANGE expectation was unreasonable, unrealistic (as in NOT OK ) then you may figure out what adjustments could I make to be able to live with this kind of issue? “What if I simply preferred the acknowledgement, instead of demanding it?” If however your expectation was reasonable, and realistic (e.g. in this case you’d be able to demonstrate that ALL friends SHOULD acknowledge me when I say, “Hello!”) then you can make plans to alter your reality so you get what you expect. The Three Possible Strategies • You can alter your expecting and wanting if they’re unrealistic, illogical and impractical until you have an alternative realistic, logical and practical expectation. • You can alter your reality is what you expect can be sustained because you have the energy and resource and support to effect it. • If you know it’s realistic, but are under resourced in terms of energy, skills, and support, you may have to call a NO DEAL Make sure you are clear on which strategy you are pursuing as in... 1. Changing or adjusting your expectations and thinking to match what reality can deliver. 2. Changing your reality with an action plan because your expecting is realistic, logical and practical. 3. Calling a NO DEAL and making a response plan to withdraw cooperation either partially or completely depending on what's needed. EVALUATION of your Response: Urgent or Important? You then look at your strategy choice and figure out its priority rating in terms of Important and Urgent so that you can assign just how quickly you’ll respond and why. Then you express your strategy and its priority through using your Role options of giving and/or receiving or the opposite of each. RESPOND IN ROLE FRAME: the mix of GIVING-Not Giving and RECEIVING- not Receiving You've outlined what you want to ADJUST or REINFORCE using your CHANGE frame response and you've indicated how IMPORTANT and URGENT it is. You now translate that into specific steps using your ROLE options. Think about what is POSSIBLE and IMPOSSIBLE to filter out options that will not be realistic. You keep your focus tight by only considering three top items in each to keep it realistic. You can always re-assess during monitoring to assign new items. TO MAKE THIS STRATEGY AND PRIORITY A REALITY... • What 3 main things do you NEED to (say YES to) GIVE or supply to achieve your outcome? [text,yes to giving01,80] [text,yes to giving02,80] [text,yes to giving03,80] • What 3 main things do you NEED to (say NO to) GIVING or supplying to achieve your outcome? [text,no to giving01,80] [text,no to giving02,80] [text,no to giving03,80] • What 3 main things do you NEED to (say YES to) RECEIVE to achieve your outcome? [text,yes to receiving01,80] [text,yes to receiving02,80] [text,yes to receiving03,80] • What 3 main things do you NEED to (say NO to) RECEIVING to achieve your outcome? [text,no to receiving01,80] [text,no to receiving02,80] [text,no to receiving03,80] The VOCs scale You might enhance it by estimating HOW upset will you be using the SUDS scale OR You could also do similarly with the Frequency and Duration. If any of these goals are not met, you can problem solve using the same process to identify what you are yet telling yourself that blocks a beneficial outcome. A new scale comes in for you to gauge progress. It’s called a VOCs scale (Validity of Confidence). VOCs SCALE 0 No belief in the plan at all. 1. Able to consider the possibility of the plan. 2. Able to feel some hope that the plan could be workable 3. Able to relate to prior experience supporting the possibility of working the plan. 4. The plan has a grain of workability in it. 5. The plan is beginning to be workable. 6. Able to see that the plan is already partly workable. 7. The plan feels workable but there are some reservations or disclaimers. 8. The plan feels mostly workable but there is still some doubt.. 9. The plan feels almost completely workable. 10. The plan feels completely workable - I believe it without a doubt. ================================================================ ANY QUESTIONS or COMMENTS? [textarea,questions or comments,3,70] [checkbox,send copy] CHECK HERE if you would like a copy of your work sent to you. [submit,SEND this Profile][reset,Start Over again] [/form]