This is lesson 4 in Basic Reframe
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BASIC REFRAME lesson 4
Building up an IMPACT assessment in relation to the issue you are seeking to work on.
Your Name please:
[text,r_name,30]
Email:
[text,r_email,30]
THE IMPACT SECTION
This means exactly what it says, the impact, the consequences of your situation and how it affects you. This is where you assess how upset you are and where it affects you most. In this section you also set some goals for the issue you are working. By writing up the impact you get a closer idea about what needs to be addressed. The impact section contains some useful measurable items so that after working on a solution you can come back and re-test the impact to see how you’ve done.
When you did your survey you looked at
Environmental changes/Life Situations
Physical Reactions
Moods
Behaviours
Thoughts - Images - Memories
Now you identify where you impacted and who or what is your main focus.
• It’s mostly about ME
• It’s more about OTHER people
• It's more about my LIFE in general
• It’s about me as a THIRD PARTY onlooker
• Stuff in life like MY PAST
• Stuff in life like what's HAPPENING NOW
• Stuff in life like my FUTURE
• Things to do with my SPIRITUALITY or GOD
Building The Impact Sentence
You build a four part IMPACT sentence describing how the activating event impacts you. This is a succinct four sentence description to help anchor you. It is important to keep focused on the main target you identified above.
The format is
WHEN: This part to describe when and where and what happened to activate your presenting issue The idea is to locate the WHEN in terms of the place, the time, the day, etc. and also WHAT happened in that location without giving it values, just a description of the actual happening. Some WHENs occur in our thoughts, but usually we're still in a place at the time it happens, or maybe with certain people.
e.g. When a friend walked past me in the street on Tuesday without saying, “Hi!” after I did or acknowledging me in any way.
I FEEL: You talk about how the event impacts various things that give you a clue that you've been affected.
- You may feel a strong negative mood or moods, also referred to as emotions e.g. anger, anxious, depressed...
- You may feel a body sense such as tension, unusual sweating, tightness across the chest, hot etc.
- You may notice that your voice alters in terms of pitch or tone, and you may find a difference in how you talk e.g. speed, words, pauses.
- You may find that your body posture changes e.g. aggressive, withdrawing, curling up
- You may notice sum unusual little habit of movement, picking at skin or hair, a gesture of some kind you only use when nervous etc. or that you walk differently
e.g. I feel rejected and quite upset and angry about it. I started speaking loudly and I felt really tense.
I RESPOND: You talk about your reactions in terms of behaviour or action.
At times because our automatic thinking kicks in so quickly, we may find ourself initially reacting in some way so talk about your initial reactions and then what your response was after a bit of thinking. Usually our response comes after the BECAUSE section of the IMPACT journal.
e.g. I respond by taking your name off my cellphone list, chucking your Christmas card in the bin, and withdrawing from others.
BECAUSE: You talk about your thinking, self-talk, images and memories that were there, or are there, when you were triggered by the issue. It’s not so much what you’re thinking now.
It's important to write down whatever is in your head, mind etc. when you are triggered with the WHEN. All of those thoughts and things that come into your head are clues you can work with to figure out the core ideas driving your reactions, feelings etc.
BECAUSEs may contain
- Familiar words and phrases being repeated in your thoughts about what you think of the WHEN
- A flash of an image or something that happened in another place and time
- A distinct memory that may even cause a bodily reaction or response
- A 'truth' of some kind or rule or principle you value highly comes to your mind
There are two essential threads of thinking that flavour our BECAUSE.
1. The IMPORTANT
The IMPORTANT is about our values, principles, ethics, beliefs etc. about how we believe our world, others and our own self should function or behave. This is sometimes as simple as feeling it was "wrong" or "right"; "good" or "bad". Falling short of what we value can be an inside WHEN. Problems are when our values or beliefs do not match reality.
2. The URGENT
The URGENT is about our sense of NEED. We may WANT or DESIRE many different things and handle it when we don't get them. BUT when we evaluate something as a NEED that we CANNOT do without, we will give it a good degree of URGENCY. Problems are when we rate something as a need, when its more truly a desire.
e.g. Because if you’re my friend you should acknowledge me when I acknowledge you. it reminded me of a time when someone else rejected me. It's important to me that my friends don't reject or disapprove of me!
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After the four part sentence is constructed, you then reflect and determine three things which will help measure the impact in ways you can come back and check after your personal self-work.
You use the SUDS (Specific Units of Distress) scale to notice just how intense this is for you.
SUDS scale – You gauge how intense impact is on mood and behaviour
1. The absence of any distress. Feeling calm and totally relaxed
2. Neutral feeling or just OK, not as relaxed as could be
3. Increased discomfort, unpleasant, but in control
4. Noticeable discomfort or distress, perhaps agitation, but tolerable
5. Discomfort is very uncomfortable, but I can stand it.
6. Discomfort worsens and affects my life
7. Discomfort is severe and emotional pain interferes with my life.
8. Discomfort increases and it is in my thoughts constantly
9. Discomfort is nearly intolerable
10. Discomfort is extreme and the worst imaginable. I feel panicky and overwhelmed.
Frequency – You estimate how often this issue occurs
You then estimate how often this happens with a Frequency scale.
• LOW Not very often
• LOW to MEDIUM
• MEDIUM more often than I can ignore
• MEDIUM TO HIGH
• HIGH so frequently its very disruptive and upsetting
Duration – You estimate how long it lasts when it happens
You then estimate how long this kind of upset lasts with a Duration scale.
• LOW an HOUR max
• LOW to MEDIUM it can take out a morning or an afternoon
• MEDIUM it can take out most of a day
• MEDIUM TO HIGH more than one day up to a week
• HIGH from a week to a month or more
At this point you’ve done your self-survey, and you’ve refined it down to how you are impacted using measurable criteria. To complete the impact while the issue is sitting hot with you, and it is also a good time to catch or hear what your preferences are. If you were not upset, then you wouldn’t be doing this REFRAME process. If the impact is what’s upsetting you, then you are likely comparing it to what you’d prefer instead of what’s happening. If your desire for a different outcome is valued highly or very urgently, the preference will be more of a demand!
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The Impact sentence work then turns to setting some initial goals called "Preferences"
Your Preferred Outcome
After the impact assessment you begin your preferred outcome (which is really about goal setting) by talking about your preferred outcome compared to the actual outcome (what actually happened). The trigger event is exactly the same because you’re talking about how you’d prefer to respond to the same or similar triggering event. The preferred outcome is formatted exactly the same as your IMPACT criteria to enable you to reflect on it and compare the same sections.
The format is
WHEN: This part to describe when and where and what happened to activate your presenting issue. You use exactly the same WHEN as above.
e.g. When you walked past me in the street on Tuesday without saying, “Hi!” after I did.
I PREFER TO FEEL: You talk about how you’d prefer to feel in relation to how you are actually feeling.
e.g. I’d prefer to feel confident and assured.
I PREFER TO RESPOND BY: You talk about your preferred response in terms of behaviour or action compared to how you are actually responding at present.
e.g. I prefer to respond by taking time to check out whether or not you saw me so that I do not make assumptions.
BECAUSE: You talk about your reasons for the preferred outcome compared to your actual outcome.
e.g. Because you’re my friend and I don’t want to fall out with you over something quite innocent. If it was on purpose then I need to know more about why so I can make an informed decision.
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The completion of your preferences (or demands) finishes the IMPACT section of Reframing. If you have three HOT issues that you’re working on after prioritising, you may wish then to do an impact journal for EACH of those issues. You may find that when doing this two or more amalgamate and you gain insight as to what the real upset is about.
For the purpose of the next section, you’ll need to pick on your top HOT issue. The next section is where You learn how to FRAME the issue using three key universal frames of reference (contexts or settings) common to being human.
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PRACTICAL ASSIGNMENT - Fill out an IMPACT journal
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TO WHOM OR WHAT IS THE TARGET OF THIS JOURNAL ENTRY e.g. Is it about you being upset with yourself, other people, life or the divine?
CHECK which one is MOST relevant to this issue you are about to journal
[list,Choose your main focus out of your choices]
[option,0,Choose which you are mainly conscious of]
[option,On me my sense of self ,Mostly focused on ME my sense of self]
[option,On another person or persons ,Mostly focused on an OTHER person or persons]
[option,On LIFE in general ,Mostly focused on LIFE in general and how I view it]
[option,On God or the divine ,Mostly focused on GOD or the Divine]
[/list]
==================================================================
WHEN is about when, where, who was involved and what happened to anchor it.
[textarea,the when completion,2,70,WHEN...]
I FEEL... Here you talk about your emotions and physical feelings
[list,I FEEL]
[option,0,write or choose from]
[option, angry ,Angry]
[option, depressed,Depressed]
[option, anxious ,Anxious]
[option, shamed ,Shamed]
[option, jealous ,Jealous]
[option, envious ,Envious]
[option, guilty ,Guilty]
[option, hurt ,Hurt]
[/list][text,emotions,50]
===================================================================
Measure of the IMPACT through intensity (how strong), frequency (how often), duration (how long it lasts)
The level of IMPACT?
[list,My General assessment of the Impact is]
[option,1 The absence of any distress,1 The absence of any distress. Feeling calm and totally relaxed]
[option,2 Neutral feeling or just OK,2 Neutral feeling or just OK, not as relaxed as could be]
[option,3 Increased discomfort,3 Increased discomfort, unpleasant, but in control]
[option,4 Noticeable discomfort or distress,4 Noticeable discomfort or distress, perhaps agitation, but tolerable]
[option,5 Discomfort is very uncomfortable,5 Discomfort is very uncomfortable, but I can stand it.]
[option,6 Discomfort worsens and affects my life,6 Discomfort worsens and affects my life]
[option,7 Discomfort is severe emotional pain interferes,7 Discomfort is severe and emotional pain interferes with my life.]
[option,8 Discomfort increases in thoughts constantly,8 Discomfort increases and it is in my thoughts constantly]
[option,9 Nearly intolerable,9 Discomfort is nearly intolerable]
[option,10 discomfort extreme worst imaginable,10 Discomfort is extreme and the worst imaginable. I feel panicky and overwhelmed.]
[/list]
How Frequently does this kind of presenting issue occur?
[list,frequency]
[option,LOW Not very often,LOW Not very often]
[option,LOW to MEDIUM,LOW to MEDIUM]
[option,MEDIUM more often than I can ignore,MEDIUM more often than I can ignore]
[option,MEDIUM TO HIGH,MEDIUM TO HIGH]
[option,HIGH so frequently its very disruptive and upsetting,HIGH so frequently its very disruptive and upsetting]
[/list]
HOW long do they last? (duration)
[list,duration]
[option,LOW an HOUR max,LOW an HOUR max]
[option,LOW to MEDIUM it can take out a morning or an afternoon,LOW to MEDIUM it can take out a morning or an afternoon]
[option,MEDIUM it can take out most of a day,MEDIUM it can take out most of a day]
[option,MEDIUM TO HIGH more than one day up to a week,MEDIUM TO HIGH more than one day up to a week]
[option,HIGH from a week to a month or more,HIGH from a week to a month or more]
[/list]
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I RESPOND BY[list,I RESPOND BY]
[option,0,Choose or write]
[option,avoiding,Avoiding]
[option,withdrawing,Withdrawing]
[option,being aggressive,being aggressive]
[option,sulking,Sulking]
[option,gossiping,Gossiping]
[option,denigrating,denigrating]
[option,slandering,Slandering]
[option,sabotaging,sabotaging]
[option,inactive,Inactive]
[/list][text,response actions,60]
BECAUSE Here give an explanation of the ideas you hold or think about why the issue occurs for you. Write in here about what you find yourself thinking about self, other or life when you feel the mood and impact and repsond in the ways you have indicated with this trigger event.
[textarea,because reasons,2,70,Because...]
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What would you PREFER happens instead what actually happened or will happen?
Talk about the kind of outcome you'd prefer happened instead of what you are experiencing.
THE WHEN IS THE SAME WHEN AS ABOVE
I WOULD PREFER TO FEEL... Talk about the appropriate emotion and physical feeling you would prefer
[list,I prefer to FEEL]
[option,0,choose or write]
[option, annoyed not angry,Annoyed not Angry]
[option, sad not depressed,Sad not Depressed]
[option, concerned not anxious ,Concerned not Anxious]
[option, regretful not shamed ,Regretful not Shamed]
[option, healthy concern not jealous ,Healthy concern not Jealous]
[option, competitive not envious ,Competitive not Envious]
[option, remorseful not guilty ,Remorseful not Guilty]
[option, disappointed not hurt ,Disappointed not Hurt]
[/list][text,emotion goals,60]
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This is the level of IMPACT I would prefer[list,My preferred Impact is]
[option,1 The absence of any distress,1 The absence of any distress. Feeling calm and totally relaxed]
[option,2 Neutral feeling or just OK,2 Neutral feeling or just OK, not as relaxed as could be]
[option,3 Increased discomfort,3 Increased discomfort, unpleasant, but in control]
[option,4 Noticeable discomfort or distress,4 Noticeable discomfort or distress, perhaps agitation, but tolerable]
[option,5 Discomfort is very uncomfortable,5 Discomfort is very uncomfortable, but I can stand it.]
[option,6 Discomfort worsens and affects my life,6 Discomfort worsens and affects my life]
[option,7 Discomfort is severe emotional pain interferes,7 Discomfort is severe and emotional pain interferes with my life.]
[option,8 Discomfort increases in thoughts constantly,8 Discomfort increases and it is in my thoughts constantly]
[option,9 Nearly intolerable,9 Discomfort is nearly intolerable]
[option,10 discomfort extreme worst imaginable,10 Discomfort is extreme and the worst imaginable. I feel panicky and overwhelmed.]
[/list]
How Frequently would you prefer to cope?
This is important to think about because there may be aspects out of your personal control
[list,frequency I can cope with]
[option,LOW Not very often,LOW Not very often]
[option,LOW to MEDIUM,LOW to MEDIUM]
[option,MEDIUM more often than I can ignore,MEDIUM more often than I can ignore]
[option,MEDIUM TO HIGH,MEDIUM TO HIGH]
[option,HIGH so frequently its very disruptive and upsetting,HIGH so frequently its very disruptive and upsetting]
[/list][text,frequency cope,50,comment?]
HOW long would you prefer to cope with it?
This is also important as again you may not be able to control certain aspects. Listen to your thoughts as you decide.
[list,duration02]
[option,LOW an HOUR max,LOW an HOUR max]
[option,LOW to MEDIUM a morning or an afternoon,LOW to MEDIUM a morning or an afternoon]
[option,MEDIUM a day,MEDIUM a day]
[option,MEDIUM TO HIGH one day up to a week,MEDIUM TO HIGH one day up to a week]
[option,HIGH a week to a month or more,HIGH a week to a month or more]
[/list][text,duration cope,50,comment?]
======================================================
I PREFER TO RESPOND BY
[list,I prefer to respond by]
[option,0,Choose or write]
[option,open,open to dialogue]
[option,approachable,approachable]
[option,being assertive,being assertive]
[option,reconciling,reconciling]
[option,offering positive critique,offering positive critique]
[option,affirming,affirming]
[option,encouraging,encouraging]
[option,supporting,supporting]
[option,being free to engage or not,being free to engage or not]
[/list][text,response actions,60]
BECAUSE Here give an explanation of the ideas you hold or think about to reinforce your preferred outcome.
[textarea,preference because,2,70,Because...]
Explain your views on why prioritising is important in sorting out upsets in your life.
[textarea,explain why prioritise,4,70]
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ANY QUESTIONS or COMMENTS?
[textarea,questions or comments,3,70]
[checkbox,send copy] CHECK HERE if you would like a copy of your work sent to you.
[submit,SEND this Profile][reset,Start Over again]
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