Doing Homework to Invest New Alternative Beliefs These are provided to help you move from self-defeat to rational living using Rational Self Analysis. Two of the most common helps in setting up homework for yourself is to use an EXPERIMENT PLAN or to make an ACTION PLAN. An Experiment plan is for when you have an alternative belief you've tested and checked is rational and now you want to invest it or assimilate it into your life so it becomes your new habit of thinking. This will take time and energy and possibly a repeated series of experiment plans to achieve but it can be done. Click Here for EXPERIMENT PLAN An Action Plan is where you've identified that to achieve what you want requires specific steps and plans to get into action. You can use your Rational Self Analysis skills to apply to any blocks, exaggerations, Low Frustration Tolerance, or negative self or others labelling. Click Here for ACTION PLAN ========================================================= Cognitive techniques There are some additional tools that will help you deal with stress and develop a functional coping philosophy. Most of the techniques in this and the next two sections can be used either alone or as part of completing a rational self-analysis. Reading Keep educating yourself about the world and the people in it. Get information on particular problems from sources like books, magazine articles, pamphlets, and the internet. Rational cards After disputing a self-defeating belief, take a small card and write the old belief on the top and the new belief at the bottom. Carry the card with you for a week or so, and take it out of your pocket or purse and read it eight to ten times a day. This will take less than thirty seconds each time, but the repetition can be very productive for establishing a new rational belief. Don't be misled by the simplicity of this technique - it can be surprisingly effective. Note that a new thought requires daily practice for about twenty-one days before it becomes a habit, so refer to the card at least once a day for a few more weeks. Catastrophe scale This is a technique to get things back into perspective when you find yourself awfulising. On a sheet of paper draw a line down one side. Put 100% at the top, 0% at the bottom, and fill in the rest at 10% intervals. At each level, write in something you think could legitimately be rated at that level. You might, for example, put 0% - 'Having a quiet cup of coffee at home', 20% - 'Having to mow the lawns when the rugby is on television', 70% - being burgled, 90% - being diagnosed with cancer, 100% - being burned alive, and so on. Whenever you are upset about something, ascertain what rating you are (subconsciously) giving it and pencil it on your chart. Then see how it compares to the items already there. Usually what happens is that you will realise you have been exaggerating the badness involved. Move the item down the list until you feel it is in perspective. Keep the chart and add to it from time to time. Reframing This is another strategy for getting bad events into perspective. One way to reframe events is to reevaluate them as 'disappointing', 'concerning', or 'uncomfortable' rather than 'awful' or 'unbearable'. Another way is to see that even negative events almost always have a positive side to them, listing all the positives you can think of. Benefits calculation This is a way to break through decision-making blocks. It is based on the principle that we are likely to be happiest when our decisions take into account both the desirability of getting enjoyment now, and continuing to get it in the future. To carry out a calculation, list all the factors that seem relevant to the decision. Include the likelihood of short- and long-term consequences for each factor. Decide how much value or benefit each item has to you, negatively or positively, then add up the pro's and con's. ============================================================== Imagery techniques Rational emotive imagery Using the power of your imagination, REI can prepare you to deal with situations you would rather avoid because of anxiety. The steps, showing an illustrative example, are as follows: Procedure 1. Imagine, vividly and clearly, the event or situation with which you have trouble. 2. Allow yourself to feel - strongly - the self-defeating emotion which follows. 3. Note the thoughts creating that emotion. 4. Force the emotion to change to a more functional (but realistic) feeling. It is possible to do this, even though briefly. 5. Note the thoughts you used to change the emotion. 6. Practice the technique daily for a while. Coping rehearsal Coping rehearsal is a variation of rational-emotive imagery. You imagine experiencing the dysfunctional reaction you anticipate, then imagine yourself changing the self-defeating thinking involved, and feeling and behaving in more functional ways. Here are the steps you would follow: 1. Do a rational self-analysis. 2. Vividly imagine yourself in the situation you are concerned about. 3. Feel the emotions that follow and see yourself behaving in the self-defeating ways you anticipate, and repeating the self-defeating beliefs you listed in the analysis. 4. Then imagine yourself (still in the situation) disputing and replacing those self-defeating beliefs, using the rational alternatives you developed with your analysis. Feel your negative emotion reducing to a level you can handle, and visualise yourself acting appropriately. You can use this to prepare yourself for many situations - behaving assertively, giving a talk, coping with a job interview, negotiating a contract, and so on. The 'blow-up' technique Use the power of humour to get a feared situation into perspective. Imagine whatever it is you fear happening, then blow it up out of all proportion till you cannot help but be amused by it. Laughing at your fears will help you get control of them. Let's say, for example, you are afraid to assert yourself with a co-worker who dumps her work onto you. Visualise yourself telling her how you feel about it. See her accusing you loudly of being selfish and unwilling to work as part of a team, the rest of the office gathering around and agreeing with her, management called in to deal with you, the police called to take you away, your picture and a description of your actions on the television news, the country in uproar, the Government passing an Act to have you personally restrained from ever confronting anyone again, the army, complete with tanks and artillery, patrolling your workplace to make sure you stay in line. Time projection This technique is designed to show that one's life, and the world in general, continue after a feared or unwanted event has come and gone. Visualise the unwanted event occurring, then imagine going forward in time a week, then a month, then six months, then a year, two years, and so on. Consider how you will be feeling at each of these points in time. You will eventually see that life will go on, even though you may need to make some adjustments. You can use this with a range of events and circumstances, such as actual or feared redundancy, loss of a contract, business failure, reduction in income, death of a loved one, disability, failure to pass an examination, and so on. ======================================================== Behavioural techniques It is important to put your cognitive changes into actual practice. Behavioural techniques, or 'action assignments', will help you in a number of ways. You can deepen and consolidate rational beliefs by acting in accordance with the new beliefs and against the old ones. You can raise your tolerance for frustration and discomfort by deliberately exposing yourself to them. And you can experiment with and practice new ways of handling problematical situations. Exposure to real life situations Exposure involves deliberately putting yourself into real-life situations you tend to avoid. The main purposes are to test out beliefs (like, for example, that you can't stand rejection) and to increase your tolerance for discomfort. It is helpful to deliberately set up the situations rather than wait for them to occur. You can prepare for them, so they are under your control. The advance practice will then help you cope when they happen unexpectedly. Here are some of the ways you can use real-life exposure: Shame attacking. This involves doing things you have previously avoided through fear of what other people might think. It will increase your tolerance for discomfort, reduce your overconcern about disapproval, and increase your ability to take (sensible) risks. The actions need to be things that other people are likely to notice and disapprove of. Here are some examples: a. If you are obsessive about your appearance, go out wearing unmatched items of clothing or without your usual grooming. b. If you worry about behaving correctly in front of others, break some minor social convention. c. Face your fear of being seen as stupid by expressing an opinion to a group of people. Risk-taking. The purpose is to challenge beliefs that certain behaviours are too dangerous to risk, when reason tells you that while the outcome is not guaranteed, they are worth the chance. Some examples: a. Combat perfectionism or fear of failure by starting tasks where there is a good chance of failing or not matching your expectations. b. Face fear of rejection by seeking it out - talk to an attractive person at a party, or ask someone to go out with you.