REFRAME Shame Assessment [form] Name[text,r_name,30] Email [text,r_email,30] In reference to feeling SHAME ... WHOM OR WHAT IS the Object of your attention? [list,Your main focus] [option,My focus is on me my sense of self ,On ME my sense of self] [option,on other person or persons directly involved,On OTHER person or persons directly involved] [option,on third parties,On third parties not directly involved but influencing] [option,My focus is on LIFE in general ,Mostly focused on LIFE in general and how I view it] [option,My focus is on God or the divine ,Mostly focused on GOD or the Divine] [/list] WHEN Something shameful has been revealed about me, or has been revealed about the people-group I belong to [list,Something shameful has been revealed about me, or has been revealed about the people-group I belong to][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] Others look down on me, shun me [list,Others look down on me, shun me][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] Others look down on the group I belong(hang out with) to [list,Others look down on the group I belong(hang out with) to][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] OTHER SHAME SITUATIONS? [textarea,Other situations,3,70] I FEEL SHAME [list,My General assessment of the SHAME Impact is] [option,0,Choose level of SHAME IMPACT] [option,1 The absence of any distress,1 The absence of any distress. Feeling calm and totally relaxed] [option,2 Neutral feeling or just OK,2 Neutral feeling or just OK, not as relaxed as could be] [option,3 Increased discomfort,3 Increased discomfort, unpleasant, but in control] [option,4 Noticeable discomfort or distress,4 Noticeable discomfort or distress, perhaps agitation, but tolerable] [option,5 Discomfort is very uncomfortable,5 Discomfort is very uncomfortable, but I can stand it.] [option,6 Discomfort worsens and affects my life,6 Discomfort worsens and affects my life] [option,7 Discomfort is severe emotional pain interferes,7 Discomfort is severe and emotional pain interferes with my life.] [option,8 Discomfort increases in thoughts constantly,8 Discomfort increases and it is in my thoughts constantly] [option,9 Nearly intolerable,9 Discomfort is nearly intolerable] [option,10 discomfort extreme worst imaginable,10 Discomfort is extreme and the worst imaginable. I feel panicky and overwhelmed.] [/list] HOW I RESPOND IS I remove myself from the GAZE of others [list,I remove myself from the GAZE of others][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] I isolate myself from others [list,I isolate myself from others][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] I save face by attacking other(s) who have shamed me [list,I save face by attacking other(s) who have shamed me][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] I defend my threatened self-esteem in self-defeating ways [list,I defend my threatened self-esteem in self-defeating ways][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] I ignore attempts by others to restore lost face, or social disruption [list,I ignore attempts by others to restore lost face, or social disruption][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] OTHER SHAME RESPONSES [textarea,Other kinds of behaviour,3,70] BECAUSE I overestimate the likelihood that the judging group's actions [list,I overestimate the likelihood that the judging group's actions][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] Also that the judging group will notice the information [list,Also that the judging group will notice the information][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] Also that the judging group will be interested in the information [list,Also that the judging group will be interested in the information][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] I overestimate the degree of disapproval I will receive [list,I overestimate the degree of disapproval I will receive][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] I overestimate the level of disapproval my people-group will receive [list,I overestimate the level of disapproval my people-group will receive][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] I overestimate the length of time any disapproval will last [list,I overestimate the length of time any disapproval will last ][option,choose,Choose the frequency of occurence,selected][option,0,0 Not at all][option,1,1 Sometimes][option,2,2 Frequently][option,3,3 Most of the time][/list] OTHER SHAME THOUGHTS? [textarea,Other kinds of thoughts I have,3,70] IF any of the following statements are similar to your because-thoughts with this issue, please check them in the box beside. [checkbox,I must do well or very well]I MUST do well or very well! [checkbox, I am a BAD or WORTHLESS PERSON when I act weakly, or stupidly]I am a BAD or WORTHLESS PERSON when I act weakly, or stupidly. [checkbox,I MUST be approved, acknowledged or accepted by people I find important to me]I MUST be approved, acknowledged or accepted by people I find important to me. [checkbox,People MUST treat me fairly and give me what I NEED]People MUST treat me fairly and give me what I NEED. [checkbox,People MUST live up to my expectations or it is TERRIBLE ... awful]People MUST live up to my expectations or it is TERRIBLE (awful...) [checkbox,I CAN'T STAND really bad things or very difficult people]I CAN'T STAND really bad things or very difficult people! [checkbox,MUST have few major hassles or troubles]My work (task, job...) MUST have few major hassles or troubles. [checkbox,It's AWFUL or HORRIBLE when major (important...) things don't go my way]It's AWFUL or HORRIBLE when major (important...) things don't go my way [checkbox,I CAN'T STAND IT when work (tasks, situation...) is really unfair]I CAN'T STAND IT when work (tasks, situation...) is really unfair. [checkbox,I NEED a good deal of gratification (satisfaction...) and HAVE to feel miserable (upset, disturbed) when I don't get it.]I NEED a good deal of gratification (satisfaction...) and HAVE to feel miserable (upset, disturbed) when I don't get it. [checkbox,I must not suffer more discomfort than I feel I can bear]I MUST NOT experience more discomfort physically or emotionally than I feel I can bear Please share with me anything else you feel I need to know to understand you and your experience of Anger? [textarea,comments,3,70,Write in here...] [checkbox,send copy] SEND ME A COPY PLEASE [submit,SEND this Entry][reset,Start Over again] [/form]