This form is for looking at your present relationship and analysing just what your expectations really mean in terms of how you want them expressed and how much you value them.
[form]
Your Name please:
[text,r_name,30]
Email:
[text,r_email,30]
Gender [list,Gender]
[option,0,Please select your gender]
[option,male,male]
[option,female,female]
[/list]
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REFRAME Relationship Expectations
YOU CAN work through EACH of these steps in sequence (recommended), or do each group as a complete group. YOU will need to set aside a reasonable amount of time to do this form in one sitting.
INSTRUCTIONS for EACH STEP
Step 1. DEFINITION:
You are asked to define the key words in regard to relating to others
Step 2. PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC EXAMPLES:
You are asked to give at least three specific examples (not general) that would show what a particular word would look like when someone is actually doing it.
Step 3. IMPORTANCE SCORE ( 1 TO 9):
You are then asked from a score of 1 to 9, to evaluate how important this trait/behaviour is to you. Nine (9) represents “extremely important.”
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RESPONSES group
To be SPONTANEOUS or PREDICTABLE
DEFINE these two words
[textarea,RESPONSES definition of spontaneous,2,70,Spontaneous...]
[textarea,RESPONSES definition of Predictable,2,70,Predictable...]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of being Spontaneous
[textarea,spontaneous examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of spontaneous]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of being Predictable
[textarea,predictable examples,4,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of predictable]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
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AGREEMENTS group
to keep Agreements or Arrangements or to break them
DEFINE these two words
[textarea,agreement definition,2,70,Agreement...]
[textarea,arrangement definition,2,70,Arrangement...]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of someone who KEEPS agreements or arrangements
[textarea,group 3 key word examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is keeping Agreements or Arrangements to you?
[list,importance of keeping agreements]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of someone who CHANGES agreements or arrangements
[textarea,Agreements arrangements Change examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is having Agreements or Arrangements altered to you?
[list,importance of breaking agreements]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
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ALTERNATIVES group
to be open or close to ALTERNATIVES or NEGOTIATIONS
DEFINE these two words
[textarea,Alternative definition,2,70,Alternatives...]
[textarea,negotiate definition,2,70,Negotiation...]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of someone who is open to negotiations or alternatives.
[textarea,negotiating alternatives examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is negotiating alternatives to you?
[list,importance of not negotiating alternatives]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of someone who is closed to negotiating alternatives
[textarea,closed to negotiating examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of not negotiating]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
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UNDERSTANDING group
to be OBJECTIVE or to be UNDERSTANDING
DEFINITION of Objective and Understanding
[textarea,objective definition,2,70,being OBJECTIVE...]
[textarea,understanding definition,2,70,being UNDERSTANDING...]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of being Objective
[textarea,being objective examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of being objective]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of being UNDERSTANDING
[textarea,being understanding examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of being understanding]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
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CONTROL - RESPONSIBLE Group
being in CONTROL or being RESPONSIBLE
DEFINITION of CONTROL and RESPONSIBLE
[textarea,Control definition,2,70,being in CONTROL...]
[textarea,Responsible definition,2,70,being RESPONSIBLE...]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC of being in CONTROL
[textarea,being in control examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of being in control]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of being Responsible
[textarea,being responsible examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of being responsible]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
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PRIORITIES (ordering of events) group
being the INITIATING by saying when or being SUBMITTING by allowing others to say when.
INITIATING (as driver leader proactive) SUBMITTING (as passenger follower reactive)
DEFINITION of INITIATING and SUBMITTING
[textarea,initiating definition,2,70,Initiating...]
[textarea,submitting definition,2,70,Submitting...]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of Initiating
[textarea,Initiating examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of Initiating]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of Submitting
[textarea,submitting examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of submitting]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
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FEEDBACK group
Engaging or Disengaging CRITIQUE as Feedback
DEFINITION of CRITIQUE
[textarea,initiating definition,2,70,Critique...]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of engaging in Critique
[textarea,engaging critique examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of critiquing]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
PLEASE GIVE THREE BEHAVIOURALLY SPECIFIC examples of disengaging in critique
[textarea,disengaging critique examples,2,70]
HOW IMPORTANT is this Behaviour trait to you?
[list,importance of disengating critique]
[option,1 Hardly worth rating,1. Hardly worth rating]
[option,2 Worth getting a mention,2. Worth getting a mention]
[option,3 Nice if it was there,3. Nice if it was there]
[option,4 I would like to see it there,4. I would like to see it there]
[option,5 ,5. Moderately Important]
[option,6 ,6. Fairly Important]
[option,7 ,7. Quite Important]
[option,8 ,8. Very Important]
[option,9 ,9. Extremely Important]
[/list]
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[/form]
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