[form] "The REBT Toolbox" Your Name please: [text,r_name,30] Email: [text,r_email,30] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Identifying the Activating Experience You may feel uncomfortable about working on the Activating experience or Adversity experience and its Emotional Consequence. Many people feel uptight and embarrassed about having difficulties but these same people are able to find solutions to their difficulties. Begin to solve your difficulty by working your problem into the REBT ABC format. Remember that the Activating Event (A) is an experience or situation and is only one part of your emotional or behavioural upsetness (C). Often people erroneously consider A to be the cause of the upsetness (C). The Activating Event may be a one time or primary Adversity or it may be something that happens repeatedly - a repeated Adversity. Focus on the facts of your Activating Event or Adversity rather than on your feelings or beliefs about it. Include these four pieces of information: 1. WHAT happens (What is said or done) 2. WHERE you are WHEN it happens. 3. WHOM you are with. 4. HOW often this Adversity happens. The Activating Event or Adversity I want to work on is... (Example: "I went for a job at Jones Company and the interviewer said I didn't have enough experience. This keeps happening to me.") Write yours in here [textarea,my activating or adversity event,6,90] CHECKLIST for content of your (A) If each of the items are included in your description of your A, please put a check mark beside them to indicate such. [checkbox,what happens] What happens [checkbox,where were you when it happens] Where you were or are when it happens [checkbox,Whom you are with] Whom you are with [checkbox,How often it happens] How often it happens You are going to be focusing on you and your experience. Even if you are disturbed or upset with someone else, you still will be focusing on your feelings, your behaviours, and your thoughts. These are the things that YOU can begin to control. ============================================================== IDENTIFY THE GOAL You are now working on the problem because there is something in your life that you want to be different j- something that you want to change. Something that you are not satisfied with or are disappointed about, something that you believe that you need, but are not getting. Or some change that you desire so strongly that you feel upset when you think about is not occuring. What you want to be different is a GOAL (G) you are blocked from reaching. People think of their goals in these terms: 1. Wanting MORE of something. 2. Wanting LESS of something. 3. Wanting to complete something. Remember how you described your emotional-behaviour problem and the Activating Event that goes with it. Identify your Goal by completing one or more of the following sentences MORE I want more of[text,more of 01,70] I want more of[text,more of 02,70] I want more of[text,more of 03,70] LESS I want less of[text,less of 01,70] I want less of[text,less of 02,70] I want less of[text,less of 03,70] COMPLETE I want to complete or finish[text,complete 01,60] I want to complete or finish[text,complete 02,60] I want to complete or finish[text,complete 03,60] ======================================================= TIPS The (A) does not cause the (C) it is usually your (B) thoughts. You can influence your feelings by changing what you think. Being responsible for what you think is not about blaming yourself or devaluing yourself. Affirmation "ACTIVATING EVENTS do not cause my feelings; my Beliefs about them largely do" "I have a choice about the way I think or my attitude toward unfortunate Activating Events" If an activating event could magically make you think and feel the way I do, then it ALL people MUST be affected the same way, but evidence and experience shows that they don't. Look for the connection between your self-blocking feelings and your irrational beliefs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Questions or Comments? [textarea,questions or comments,3,70] [checkbox,send copy,checked] To receive a copy of your work here. Uncheck it if you have printed off a hardcopy for yourself. [submit,SEND this Entry][reset,Start Over again] [/form]