[form] "REBT Theory Lesson 07" Your Name please: [text,r_name,30] Email: [text,r_email,30] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Worst Thing that Could Possibly Happen All of us will be rejected by those we see as important and no one is completely accepted by everyone. So REBT teaches that when you are rejected, you can still refuse to make yourself miserable. You can say to yourself – and convince yourself, “Well, even if I am rejected by almost everyone important to me, that hurts, but I can refuse to be totally horrified or depressed about it. I can still enjoy myself in several ways, even though I don’t have the relationships I want right now.” Looking at “the worst thing that could possibly happen” often helps you get in touch with your miserable feelings and to change them. • Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” • After you answer that, you then ask, “What is the worst thing that could happen next?” If you keep up this process you will identify the very worst thing that could possibly happen under certain conditions. Often this line of questioning makes you aware of an important psychological theme like horror of death, of separation, or of desertion, or you may become aware of your dire need for approval, success, and comfort. Consider this example of Pat’s self-talk about the worst possible outcome before he goes into a job interview. Notice how one concern leads to another. If I don’t’ get this job it will be awful! (What is the worst thing that could happen next?) That means they don’t want me and that I’m no good and that I will never get a job! (What is the worst thing that could happen next?) Then I won’t be able to support my family and they might leave me! (What is the worst thing that could happen next?) I’ll be all alone with no one to love me! That would prove I’m really unlovable and worthless! (What is the worst thing that could happen next?) I guess that is the worst thing. This process can help Pat contact his important fear about losing his family. Better, it reflects his sense of inadequacy created by his self-judgement: “I would be worthless if my family left me because I failed to get a job.” REBT encourages you to reevaluate the worst possible outcomes and to recognise that disadvantageous Activating Events, like losing a job and being alone, may happen. But (a) they probably won’t happen; and (b) if they do, it is not awful, not the end of the world. Whatever happens, it practically never means that you not be happy at all. Even very bad events, like career loss or death of a child, are not AWFUL or more than 100% bad. When such misfortunes do happen, mourning and grieving are appropriate responses, but depression and rage are not. While unfortunate Activating Events do occur, and while your losses may be great, you can help yourself by seeing that bad things often lead to some good things, too. Thus, if you are rejected or deserted, you may find strength within yourself that you did not know you had and may learn new skills to grow with. Rational-Emotive Behaviour Therapy does not wish bad things to happen to you, but realistically admits that they may well occur. So, learn to deal with them. They are not awful, and realising this can help you to change them or get by fairly well even if you cannot change them. ====================================================== Assignment 07 Let's try out this idea explored in this lesson using the "worst thing" questions. First pick one of your common sayings when you're feeling upset and make a statement about the "worst" thing. [text,my saying is,80] What is the worst things that could happen next? [text,next worst thing 01,80] What is the worst things that could happen next? [text,next worst thing 02,80] What is the worst things that could happen next? [text,next worst thing 03,80] What is the worst things that could happen next? [text,next worst thing 04,80] What is the worst things that could happen next? [text,next worst thing 05,80] What is the worst things that could happen next? [text,next worst thing 06,80] What is the worst things that could happen next? [text,next worst thing 07,80] What is the worst things that could happen next? [text,next worst thing 08,80] What is the worst things that could happen next? [text,next worst thing 09,80] What did you learn about the thoughts sitting underneath your "worst" thing saying? [textarea,my learnings about my saying,3,70] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Questions or Comments? [textarea,questions or comments,3,70] [checkbox,send copy,checked] To receive a copy of your work here. Uncheck it if you have printed off a hardcopy for yourself. [submit,SEND this Entry][reset,Start Over again]