[form] "REBT Theory Lesson 03" Your Name please: [text,r_name,30] Email: [text,r_email,30] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ More about the A As you learned ‘A’ stands for Activating Event – usually a negative life experience or Adversity. There are two basic kinds of Activating Events or Adversities: Primary Activating Events and repeated Activating Events. Primary Activating Events These are easily identified events that block our important Goals (G). They usually occur (or we think they may occur) before we use them to create an emotional problem, for example: experiencing a divorce, losing a job, learning that you may have a disease, or thinking that these Adversities may happen. These primary Activating Events are usually things that happen in a certain place and time, and under certain conditions. Example: “I came late to work, my boss yelled at me, I yelled back, and he fired me.” Repeated Activating Events These are ongoing problem situations that keep occurring. To perceive what your repeated Activating Event is, you “take a sample”. Taking a sample means identifying some particular times the events occurred. Notice what event or conditions “set off” the Adversity. For example, consider a couple that is continuously fighting. A few specific examples of a typical fight can be used as a sample. You can look at specific Activating Event for one fight or for several fights. Another example of a repeated Activating Event occurs when a feeling of depression keeps coming back but is not associated with a particular event. You can then look at a few situations or experiences that occur with the depression. An activating Event can be a feeling. Remember the story of Jack and the salesperson. Jack’s feeling of anger about the rude salesperson may be an Activating Event for Jack. Jack’s B (Belief) may be, “I must not feel angry at this salesperson! How awful!” At point C he will then likely feel guilty about his anger. When you have a disturbed feeling about a disturbed feeling, like feeling guilty about being angry, or being angry about feeling guilty, that is called a secondary disturbance. When you tell yourself, “I must not do this” or “I must not do that” you tend to disturb yourself. And when you tell yourself “I must not be disturbed!” you disturb yourself about your disturbance! You thereby make your original problem much worse. Identify an Activating Event clearly. The following story can help show how you can define point A clearly. Sue was waiting for Jack to call, but Jack did not call. Later, Sue felt very upset and started crying. She then decided to use REBT on herself. When she started to identify the Activating Event she thought it might be that “Jack doesn’t care about me.” Then she realized that this was a belief (point B) and not an Activating Event. The Activating Event, she decided, was that “John did not call.” This is her simple observation that clearly describes the Activating Event. Sue identified what she was thinking about this Activating Event: “Jack didn’t call, therefore he does not care about me – as he should – if I were OK and if he really loved me!” This was point B, Sue’s Belief about Jack’s not calling (point A). It is her B that largely creates her upsetness and her crying (at point C). Sue could use REBT and dispute or challenge her thinking by telling herself, “My feelings don’t have to depend on Jack’s behaviour. I want him to call, but that doesn’t mean that he must call and should care for me. I can start a project that I have been wanting to do. Even if he doesn’t care about me, I can still care about myself and lead a happy life. ======================================================================== Assignment 03 Please write about some of the Activating Events you are most familiar with in terms of ones that repeat themselves for you. [textarea,repeating activating events,3,70] Please write about some other events in your life, singular ones, that were connected with an upset. [textarea,singular events,3,70] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Questions or Comments? [textarea,questions or comments,3,70] [checkbox,send copy,checked] To receive a copy of your work here. Uncheck it if you have printed off a hardcopy for yourself. [submit,SEND this Entry][reset,Start Over again]