[form] LEARNING ABOUT RATIONAL EMOTIVE PHILOSOPHY Each letter of the word L - E - A - R - N stands for an RET idea. These ideas together make up the general philosophy of problem solving using rational emotive methods. Your Name please: [text,r_name,30] Email: [text,r_email,30] LESSON 6 Expanding on the - N - of LEARN N = Nothing is totally 100% bad, more than bad or awful! ================================================================= As Albert Ellis says in "How to live with a Neurotic" and several of his other writings and cassettes, life is often spelled H-A-S-S-L-E for all of us. But hassle doesn't equal horror. Unfair and very undesirable things happen almost every day. But awful things don't. Why? Because awful, if we properly define it, means very bad (which events may well be) and totally bad, more than bad, and badder than it should be. But 100% badness is improbable, 101% badness is impossible, and when things are very bad, they should be, that rotten - because, at least right now, that's the way they inarguably are! Nothing is totally bad or awful because things could always be worse. It is always possible to think of one more thing that would make matters badder. This is not to suggest that your bad experience or problem doesn't exist or is smaller than it is. But why make it bigger? Keep it in perspective. See it only as bad as it really is. When you tell yourself that something is awful and horrible, you will make yourself more upset and less able to deal effectively with changing it, or if you can't change it, to live a reasonably happy life in spite of it. You may be surprised at what you can stand or cope with. If you really couldn't stand something it means it will kill you. Right? People say, "I can't stand it!" but keep on living. The truth is that they can stand it or they wouldn't be standing there saying such! Have a little talk with yourself. Tell yourself the truth YOU CAN STAND IT, but it's not that easy. If you really couldn't stand annoying and painful things, you couldn't be happy at all, in any way when the difficulty occurred. But of course you can, if you let yourself be happy in spite of unpleasant happenings. No matter how bad your problem seems now, when you get over it or solve it, then it won't seem as bad. So, thinking that a problem is not completely bad helps you to find a solution for it. Nothing is ALL or totally bad because it could be worse. Besides something "good" might come out of it. Labelling events and experiences as awful usually makes you more upset than you have to be. Don't underestimate your own ability to tolerate bad things that happen, and to still find happiness in spite of these misfortunes. Loosen up! Yes, bad things do happen to people who act well. Tough! Sad! The world won't, in all probability, come to an end. But your world will be endlessly miserable - if you keep catastophising and awfulising about it. ================================================================= ASSIGNMENT A. Describe something that seemed totally AWFUL at the time, but does not seem AWFUL now. [textarea,was AWFUL,5,70] B. Describe a time when something that seemed AWFUL led to something desirable in the long run. [textarea,led to good,5,70] =============================================================== Questions or Comments? [textarea,questions or comments,3,70] [checkbox,send copy,checked] TO DO your next steps you'll need to receive a copy of your work here. Uncheck it if you have printed off a hardcopy for yourself. [submit,SEND this Entry][reset,Start Over again] [/form]