[form] LEARNING ABOUT RATIONAL EMOTIVE PHILOSOPHY Each letter of the word L - E - A - R - N stands for an RET idea. These ideas together make up the general philosophy of problem solving using rational emotive methods. Your Name please: [text,r_name,30] Email: [text,r_email,30] LESSON 5 Expanding on the - R - of LEARN R = Responsiblity for your feelings mainly belongs to you! =========================================================== "You made me mad" is an everyday expression. How mistaken! REBT holds that, to a large extent, people make themselves mad, sad, scared, miserable, happy, and excited. People do this by the way they think about their experiences. Responsibility for your feelings belongs to you. So "knock off" blaming other people or the past for your emotional upset. As that great American philosopher, Pogo, said, "We have met the enemy and he is us!" Accept responsibility for your feelings and get on with making them better. Refuse to accept responsibility - and suffer, suffer, suffer. There is nothing bad or wrong with being "emotional" and experiencing a variety of feelings. REBT helps people to take responsibility for their feelings and learn, when they are self-defeating to change them. When unfortunate events occur, negative feelings like sadness or disappointment are usually appropriate because they help you to cope with these events and motivate you to try to change them. REBT will help you learn to experience more appropriate feelings, and ultimately more happiness. APPROPRIATE NEGATIVE FEELINGS (for example: displeasure, sadness, regret, sorrow). * Are often related to a real loss or disappointment * Do not lead us to hurt people or destroy things * Do not make us feel helpless * Lead us to act better in the future Mainly stem from preferring instead of demanding that unfortunate events not occur in our lives. INAPPROPRIATE NEGATIVE FEELINGS (for example: rage, depression, panic, self-downing) * Seem out of proportion or exaggerated. * Lead us to hurt people or destroy things * Make us feel helpless * Lead us to "give up" Mainly stem from demanding instead just of preferring that unfortunate events not occur in our lives. ============================================================= You are responsible for your own feelings. Don't blame others or the past for your feelings. No feelings are illegitimate or false, but some are more appropriate than others, because they lead to better results and more long-range employment. The THREE MAIN CORE ideas that virtually all irrational beliefs stem from are 1. I must do well and win the approval of others or else I am no good. 2. Other people (and I) must do "the right thing" or else they are no good and deserve to be punished. 3. Life must be easy, without discomfort or inconvenience The nature of the DEMAND in each of them is the expectation of perfect flawless delivery without fail 24/7. ============================================================= ASSIGNMENT A. Describe a time when you have severely blamed another person (or institution, organisation, etc.) for your feelings... [textarea,blamed target,5,70] B. Describe what you could say to yourself DIFFERENTLY about that situation that would account for all the facts, but allow you to take responsibility for your feelings without blaming other people or things for creating them. [textarea,my different story,5,70] =============================================================== Questions or Insight Comments? [textarea,questions or comments,3,70] [checkbox,send copy,checked] TO DO your next steps you'll need to receive a copy of your work here. Uncheck it if you have printed off a hardcopy for yourself. [submit,SEND this Entry][reset,Start Over again] [/form]