Exercise 15: Disputing and replacing irrational beliefs Now you are ready to learn how you can replace irrational beliefs with rational ideas. There are two important steps here: disputing and substituting. Reread the section on disputing in Chapter 8 (pages 59-60) “Choose to be Happy”. This will remind you about the questions to ask when disputing both interpretations and ratings/personal meanings. Then try the following exercises: Exercise 15 Go over the statements below and dispute each one separately using the form below. Compare what you write with the example answers you will receive after this lesson is completed. 1. I need love and approval from those significant to me, and I must avoid disapproval from any source. 2. To be worthwhile as a person I must achieve, succeed at whatever I do, and make no mistakes. 3. People should always do the right thing. When they behave obnoxiously, unfairly or selfishly, they must be blamed and punished. 4. Things must be the way I want them to be, otherwise life will be intolerable. 5. My unhappiness is caused by things which are outside my control, so there's little I can do to feel any better. 6. 1 must worry about things that could be dangerous, unpleasant or frightening, otherwise they might happen. 7. 1 can be happier by avoiding life's difficulties, unpleasantness and responsibilities. 8. Everyone needs to depend on someone stronger than themselves. 9. Events in my past are the cause of my problems, and they continue to influence my feelings and behaviours now. 10. I should become upset when other people have problems and feel unhappy when they're sad. 11. I shouldn't have to feel discomfort and pain. I can't stand them and must avoid them at all costs. 12. Every problem should have an ideal solution, and it's intolerable when one can't be found. _____________________________________________ [form] Name [text,name,30] Email [text,email,30] Disputing an irrational belief using this form: This form uses 3 aspects to dispute an irrational belief from. Before you begin, type in the irrational belief that you are disputing in this box right here FIRST write in here the form of belief you are disputing (select and paste from the list above) Please only do ONE irrational belief at a time. [textarea,empirical,15,50,The irrational belief I am disputing is...] How to go about disputing Select your sample questions from the pull down menu, and frame your dispute to answer it in those terms (the terms of your irrational belief being challenged). Think hard about the question you set yourself to answer. If there is no answer to the question, then try another form of question to see what response it evokes. If there is no rational answer (an answer that matches verifiable reality or thinking) put "no rational answer" in the box. Empirical Dispute [list,empirical] [option,0,Select your disputing question] [option,1,Where is the evidence that you must ?] [option,2,Is there any evidence that you must ?] [option,3,Where is the law of the universe which states that you must ?] [option,4,Is there a law of the universe which states that you must ?] [option,5,If there is a law of the universe that you must, how come you didn't automatically obey it?] [option,6,Would a scientist think that there was evidence in support of your must?] [/list] Write your answer to your selected question below [textarea,empirical,15,50,My answer to the evidence question is...] Logical Dispute [list,logical] [option,0,Select your disputing question] [option,1,Where is the logic that you must ?] [option,2,Is it logical to believe that you must ?] [option,3,Does it logically follow that because you want to therefore you must?] [option,4,Does that must logically follow from your preference?] [option,5,Is it good logic to believe that because you want therefore you must ?] [option,6,Would a philosopher think it logical to believe that because you want to therefore you must?] [/list] Write your answer to your selected question below [textarea,logical,15,50,My answer to the logical question is...] Pragmatic Dispute [list,pragmatic] [option,0,Select your disputing question] [option,1,Where will it get you to believe that you must ?] [option,2,What are the emotional and behaviour consequences of believing you must ... ?] [option,3,Will that MUST give you good results?Is it healthy for you to believe that you must ?] [option,4,How is believing that you must helping achieve your goals?] [option,5,Is believing that you must going to help or hinder you pursue your goals?] [/list] Write your answer to your pragmatic question below [textarea,pragmatic,15,50,My answer to the pragmatic question is...] In reflection to how your belief was challenged by your dispute, in what ways could you modify it to help reflect a more rational version that permits you to experience the negative event but respond with appropriate rather than inappropriate behaviour or emotions? Does it have a MUST or SHOULD that allows you no room to move? What could you do to allow you to hold the truth you believe, but to be flexible and adaptable? How would you rewrite your belief in terms of a strong preference instead of an absolute belief? In this text box write up the new rational form of your belief [textarea,newbelief,15,50,My new form of the belief...] Any Questions or Comments? [textarea,questions,15,50,Write in here...] [submit,SEND this Entry][reset,Start Over again] [/form]