REFRAME RELATIONSHIP counselling
If you were part of a football or sports team, you would have your role within that relationship and the system of how you function governed by the rules of the game and your particular part would contribute in some way to the overall health or functionality of the system. This idea extends to relationships in families or groups or cultures where they have their rules rewards and sanctions to create order and to maintain the system and its purpose.
Our connection and participation in a system may be for many different reasons but in general you will have a basic role, regardless of your talent and skills and resources of transacting within that system in terms of giving and taking. The more you can interact with a balance of give and take, and have your personal needs or preferences met, the more functional your contribution to the system. If you can move freely in our out of the system and function separately from it, you would be independent. If you however are not free to function outside of that system, or to be disconnected or dissociated with it for periods of time, then you would be more dependent than independent.
A system is the nature of the combined transactions of giving and taking or resisting and restraining of all the units/groups involved in it.
A man and a woman may join in marriage and in so doing form a couples system which will have its particular focus and emphasis shaped by what each contributes and receives from the relationship. When they produce children roles within the system change and we then talk about a family system. Within that family system there will be various relationships between its members as systems within.
Relational Beings
As human beings we are relational beings in the sense that we are constantly in any one day relating to others, ourselves, our situations and life at large. During these interactions we are trading as in giving and receiving or resisting such; managing change in terms of what we can usefully predict and control; and evaluating the worth of just about everything around us in terms of how important things are (values and principles) and how urgent they are (demand for instant satisfaction, safety or low risk).
REFRAME RELATIONSHIP tools offer you some ways that are reasonably easy to grasp and use for yourself.
BEGIN by taking a map of one of your significant relationships: RELATIONSHIP MAP
There is no FEE for you to map your relationship however obtaining assistance and counsel to address the issues does attract a fee. The Relationship Map sequence begins with you FIRST examining what you want and THEN steps through what you're actually getting in terms of seven key preference areas in relationships.
If you'd like further help in working on any aspect make a contact request for counselling assistance.
Access to OTHER Relationship resources and tools are passworded and subject to a REFRAME WEBSITE subscription.
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