There are Limits to our Human Thinking which affect how much we're able to change inside our thoughts...
1. Human beings are inherently mistake-makers and we hold irrational ideas in our sets of values and thoughts that reality cannot deliver on.
2. We tend to exaggerate or overestimate the badness or risk involved in negative events and with such distortions enhance our normal negative moods to a disturbance level.
3. We can tend to underestimate how much discomfort and tolerance we can handle. This is a key factor in trying to kick various addictions.
4. From our under and over estimations we tend to put ourselves down or condemn self and others through inaccurate valuing and from very little evidence .
5. We can hold so strongly onto a rule, belief or expectation that our thinking or attitude becomes inflexible and demanding and we strongly react to violations of our rules .
REFRAMING is a way of re-structuring how you are thinking or 'framing' an issue. Think about a picture frame, the frame holds the piece of art and captures it within its boundaries. To capture a life event we need frames of reference that are sufficiently big enough for our issue to fit inside them. To do that we borrow from other approaches to counselling. In our basic transactions with self, others and life we flow between giving and receiving, so between the roles of giving and receivng we can capture most of our transactions in life. When we have a transaction we think about it and check it out in terms of our values and ideas of what's important and what is urgent in terms of having what we want as soon as possible 'because it's the right thing to do'. So we frame up the Role transaction in terms of it's priority between polarities of Important (values) and Urgent (satisfaction). Then in REFRAME there's one last frame of reference. This frame of reference is what we experience in terms of the consequences of our Role and our Valuing. We become faced with Change or No Change. Within the third frame of reference we have virtually every transaction captured in terms of whether it presents us with Change or No Change and we're faced with the consequences of figuring out how to handle it.
REFRAME POWERPOINT PRESENTATIONS with verbal commentary teaching and explaining each component
REFRAME uses these 3 frames of reference. Each frame of reference is qualified or refined by the next in the process.
ROLE: Consumer - Supplier
The way we interact with each other, our self and the world can be framed using phrases that are normally use for transactions. This is about you in your ROLE as either a giver or a receiver, a supplier or consumer, a provider or beneficiary. These two states are opposites and normally how we interact can be found in either one state or the other, or in a state of change between one to the other which gives us 4 approximate stages with which we can frame an event. REFRAME compares what you desire or want with what you actually get. So it's a simple observation of your inner world of assumptions, perceptions, expectations, compared to your outer world of experiences and outcomes.
We use our ROLE FRAME of thinking to monitor what happens to us, and also to create our own RESPONSE to self, others and life.
EVALUATION: Important - Urgent
When we have our transaction we'll be in a particular role in relation to self, other or life. We immediately 'think' about that experience in terms of its value and satisfaction and from that frame of referring we give that transaction a priority in terms of what we choose to respond to. If the role experience includes us finding ourselves out of control of the outcome, or the experience surprises us in terms of us not expecting it, then we'll likely give it a high priority and possibly react quite strongly.
Evaluation determines the RIGHT THING and HOW SOON we must have satisfaction.
CHANGE: Different - Same
The Consequence of the Role experience and its immediate Value presents us with the third frame of reference called CHANGE. The essence of handling CHANGE hinges on what CAN or CANNOT be altered, adjusted or 'fixed'. CHANGE involves us determining what must happen to satisfy our Values frame of reference and what it can do in terms of the ROLE options (giving, not giving, receiving, not receiving) to make those adjustments. So CHANGE becomes us working to reduce the undesired and increase the desired and at the same time maintain what is already satisfactory so that its not disrupted. So we try to give and receive LESS of what we don't value, MORE of what we do value, and CONTINUE what we presently value.
CHANGE problem solves unmet expectations in our EVALUATION using the ROLE frame of reference.
The REFRAME process
REFRAME can be used along a timeline to track the various transactions and how things developed to where they presently are. In working an issue, you first map how the HOT upset sits in terms of what Role you were in when you got upset, and how high a priority you gave it. You then assess that in terms of whether it presented you with unwanted change or unwanted frustration when things did not change when you wanted them to. Once you map the issue, you then realise that if you maintain that same pattern, you'll maintain your upset. Something has to alter within any one or more frames of reference to create a shift in how you're feeling and behaving as a result of it. E.g. if you were upset as a consumer, you'll find it hard to shift until you start to think like a supplier in terms of what you can give or supply the situation to make a difference.
If you'd like further help in working on any aspect REGISTER as a client and make a request for counselling assistance.
