FH Being Assertive

Means taking responsibility for your own behaviour, learning what your personal rights are, respecting them in yourself and in your neighbour.

Snapshots of 3 types

What does it mean to be assertive?
Assertiveness
Lies midway between being submissive and aggressive

Submissiveness
Is when you give way to pressure from others

Aggressiveness
Is when you invade others’ territory, overpower them, claim your rights at their expense, ride blindly over their feelings
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Definitions

Assertiveness
Assertiveness means the ability to stand on your own ground, to defend your rights and meet your needs without dominating others or letting others dominate you.

Submissiveness
You discount your own needs as less important. (Sometimes that is appropriate, but beware of it becoming a habit).

Aggressiveness
You build up your own self-esteem by putting others down, sarcasm, condemnation, abusing them. You want to be "top-dog", always right.

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How do you relate to your ‘self’ and ‘others’

Assertiveness
You respect yourself and others equally

Submissiveness
You don’t state your needs clearly, or ask for what you want.

Aggressiveness
You talk loudly, interrupt others, win the arguments, get them cornered.

How do you function in life?

Assertiveness
You choose how you want to behave

Submissiveness
You push your own feelings down as if they don’t matter, until eventually you explode into aggression or violence; then you feel guilty and return to submissive behaviour. Or maybe your aggression comes out sideways in sarcasm, backbiting, put-downs, or slander?

Aggressiveness
You use threats, anger, violence - or subtle forms of manipulation - to ensure that you get your own way, regardless of other’s feelings.

What’s your attitude to life?

Assertiveness
You choose how you want to behave, instead of reacting automatically. (you submit or dominate as and when appropriate).

Submissiveness
Essentially Submissive behaviour implies a lack of respect for one’s self.

Aggressiveness
Essentially you show no respect for those who seem less powerful than you are; you tell yourself it’s not your concern

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